Our Little Family

Our Little Family
Photos taken by Tammy Chavies Photography

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Getting Baby Selah

We've had Selah for almost two weeks now so I thought I'd give insight into the day we got her.

On Thursday we made the trip down to Murfesboro Tennessee to stay with Logan's cousin.  We had a wonderful visit and great breakfast before we left on Friday morning.  We made the trip down to Mississippi and were nervously awaiting the text to get our little girl that evening.  We made it to the hotel, checked in, got ready and left for dinner.  While at dinner we got a text at 7:30ish pm saying they were at the hospital getting her baby check up.  Getting the baby well check was necessary before parents could sign consent to terminate parental rights.  The agency thought it wouldn't be too much longer. Therefore, we finished eating and headed about 15 minutes away to the area in which we were going to meet.  The agency wanted parents to sign and then for us to arrive because they wanted to meet us. The agency would not give us the exact location only the area, until they signed as they didn't want us to arrive early.  We went to the beach, prayed, walked around… and ended up sitting in a McDonalds parking lot until 11 pm when we found out we'd have to wait until Saturday. The hospital emergency room would not fill out the form because it was not an emergency :(. To be honest at this point I was so emotionally and mentally exhausted I didn't even care.  I actually fell asleep in the car waiting for the text.  So back to the hotel we went!

The agency said they had put her in Foster Care for the night and that they had a doctor who was going to make a house call in the morning to do her well check up and sign the paperwork.  The birth mom had to work until 2 perhaps she could get of at 12 but they'd let us know.

Friday morning we woke up and had breakfast at the hotel.  We got ready and packed up.  We then headed to the house we were going to be staying at.  A friend of mines brother happened to live in Mississippi and have a second home by the ocean he uses on weekends.  Its a beautiful home and we are so grateful and thankful that he is allowing us to stay here.  Once we got here we quickly unpacked.  We had yet to hear anything from the agency and it was about 1130.  We were still nervous but not as much as we had been on Friday.  At 12:01 pm we got a text giving us the address and saying we need to come now.  We were now about 30 minutes from the address.  I've never had logan speed on purpose but I was so excited we "flew" to get her.

Once we found the place, yes we got a little lost, we pulled up to a white fence with a huge, beautiful white home with large pool in front of it and the ocean across the street.   There was a large swing hanging from a tree and two little girls swinging on them.  As we pulled up a lady came to us that was pushing the girls and said follow me I'll take you to where they are.  At this point I realized that these were Selah's older sisters. They were beautiful little girls.  The youngest one came up to me, grabbed my hand and walked inside with me.  She melted my heart right there and in a weird way a sense of calmness came over me.

As we walked into the pool house, which was expensively decorated, we saw the Birth Mom and Dad. The first thing that came to my mind was to give her a hug and introduce ourselves so thats what we did.  We then sat on the couch and talked with them for about 20 minutes.  They had a few questions for us, What we like to do?, If we want more children?, How long have we wanted a child?, Was our family okay with having an African American child in the family?, etc. They were all questions we were prepared to answer and the conversation flowed well. The birth dad did most of the talking and the mom was very quiet.

The foster mom then walked out with Selah.  She had just made her a bottle and asked the birth mom and dad if they wanted her.  The mom chimed up and said you can give her to the adoptive parents.  My heart was so full of joy as I gently grabbed her from the foster mom. (The foster mom happened to be the owner of this mansion as well as the notary, and her relative happened to be the doctor who did the exam on her in the morning and thank you God for working all these details out in such a short time!) I just kept staring at her. Logan answered questions and my heart felt content.  I then asked Logan if he wanted to hold her for a bit, trying to remember this process has been just as hard and long for him too. He held her for a bit and then we asked the birth parents if they would take a picture with us.  We got a few pictures of all of us together and then the mom sat down next to me and held her baby. She didn't start crying, which I'm thankful for as I'm sure I would have broken down too. She kissed her goodbye and handed her back to me.  We hugged again and she said she knew she'd be okay with us.

We started to walk out and the birth dad and Logan went to get her diaper bag that they wanted to give to us.  I held Selah in my arms as the birth mom and I walked out and stood by the car waiting for the guys.  She looked at me and said I loved your profile and I feel so much better meeting you guys.  She said I'll be okay until I get home.  We hugged for a while and I continually thanked her, perhaps too many times.  As the boys came out she kissed her daughter goodbye and with tears in my eyes I thanked and hugged her again.

We gently placed her in the long awaited car seat in our car and drove away with our little girl.  It was overwhelming and a beautiful blessing that came to us after much prayer and heartache.  We thank God daily for this little girl in our arms.  She has been such a wonderful, happy, and content baby.  Praising God for this gift!







Thursday, June 12, 2014

Baby Girl

A few weeks ago we officially heard from our Birth Mom that she was going to keep her baby. At this point we started letting other potential moms look at our profile. Over the last 2 weeks we have had 6 moms look at our profile.

This afternoon we were contacted and told that we were matched again!  This time we are matched with a sweet baby girl that is already 4 months old.  Her parents are unable to take care of her and are willing to sign consent.  We will be heading to Mississippi on Tuesday and to our understanding may have her on Wednesday.

How to Pray:

1. Please keep the Birth Mom and Dad in your prayers as the decision they are making is very hard. I want them to feel your prayers!

2. Pray for Logan and I as we travel over 12 hours to the Mississippi coast on Tuesday.  We may need to stay in Mississippi for up to two weeks as ICPC (State adoption stuff) is processed.  At this point our understanding is we cannot leave the state until these are processed and it could take up to two weeks.

3. Pray for us both as we enter into parenthood quite quickly.  We are so excited and honestly nervous.

4. Pray for all court hearings, judges, attorneys, etc that will be processing the adoption and that all will go smoothly.


The agency sent us a picture of her and she is beautiful.  We can't wait to have her in our arms and love on her.

Thank you, Lord for being a part of all of this. Your plan is always so much better than ours!



Friday, May 30, 2014

Uncertainty

On Wednesday May 14th we heard from the agency that our Birth Mom was no longer thinking she wanted to give her baby up.  She said she just wasn't 100% anymore and wanted us to know that.  We appreciated her honesty but it became a clear reality that she may keep her baby.

On Monday May 19th, the agency let us know that she has know added an ultrasound picture to her Facebook and they have reason to believe she will keep the baby even though she is not saying to us she has made up her mind. They are giving her some time to think and we have told her we are here for her if she chooses.

We knew this was always a reality… prayed it would not happen.   We also thought if she would back out, she would back out and there wouldn't be any in between state like we are in now.
The agency is allowing other potential moms to look at our profile now even though we are still considered "matched". We have had one mom since this happened who has looked at our profile.

This journey to parenthood is not what I thought it would be.  I had my life planned out one way and God has my life planned out His way.  Im certainly thankful that His plan is better than mine, even when my heart tells me my plan is better.  We know and understand that God has plans for us. That no matter what happens He's working something out to fulfill His plans and we only desire to honor him.

So, we are in a state of limbo.  Will we have a baby in September, perhaps.  Or perhaps, the Lord has a different baby planned for us.

How can you pray?

- Pray that our "matched" Birth Mom will decide one way or the other. I know that she cannot be 100% on an adoption as its a terribly hard situation to be in.  May the Lord give her peace about one decision and may she inform us of this decision.

-Pray for my heart. . . there have been lots of highs and lows in this journey to be parents.


And sometimes a song plays on the radio that tugs my heart.  This new song "Say Amen" by Finding Favour just reminds me that He's in control, He's working something out, and to always be Thankful. Thank you, Lord!





 


Thursday, April 24, 2014

Doctors Appointment

Sweet Baby Profile

On Wednesday I had the privilege of taking our Birth Mom out for lunch and then to her ultrasound appointment.  This was so sweet for me as I've never seen this before and loved every minute of watching the baby flip around and wave inside momma's tummy.  Everything went well with the appointment and baby is growing great! We also were able to find out the gender.  She had originally told us she didn't want to know but then she changed her mind.

Its a Boy! 


I had good time with the Birth Mom.  I felt as if conversation flowed well.  She is a sweet girl.
While my time with her was great its emotionally exhausting for me.  A million things run through my mind when I am with her. I don't want to say the wrong thing, ask the wrong question, come across the wrong way, etc.  I told Logan last night if I'm this exhausted after just spending 4 hours with her i'm not sure how i'll be while she's in labor and we wait the 72 hrs after birth for her to give up parental rights and court hearing.  I know the Lord will give me strength, both mentally and physically.
We're so excited to be adopting.  Please keep praying for our birth mom.  She has a very hard situation, both with the adoption and in life.  We are so happy to support her and help her in any way we can and one way we know we can help her is through prayer.


Here is a few more pictures of baby.  His sweet little foot, and then his hand and foot.  We love having pictures of him.










Saturday, March 29, 2014

Matched!!

We are SO Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                To let our family and friends know….

                           We are MATCHED with a birth Momma.

                  Give Thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endures forever

                                               
                                             We will be Mommy and Daddy
                                                        ETA: September 4th 


This is THE match we have been praying for.  We met this sweet momma and fell in love with her.  She wants Logan and I to feel like this is our baby from the moment she picks us.  She wants us to be apart of doctors appointments with her so we can see our baby.  Her next appointment is on Friday and we will be able to get an ultrasound picture of our baby!


Please continue to pray for her!  She is doing such a selfless act of love and we feel honored that she has chosen us to be momma and daddy to her little bundle!

Please pray for us. As we journey truly into parenthood.  As well as supporting this birth mom over the next 5 months.  Nothing would make us happier than to know she came to the Lord through us.  In fact it wouldn't surprise us already if she is a believer!  Pray we represent Christ well to her!


God is good all the time, all the time God is good!

Praise God! 




 

Monday, December 2, 2013

Approval!!!

As of today, December 2nd, we are Home Study APPROVED!!!!!  
I've been waiting for this day for what seems like forever…and I'm so excited we are finally approved!!!!

What does this mean?

At our agency we are given birth mother situations by e-mail. We can then send an email back to the agency saying "show this momma our profile", or "no we will pass on this one".  We are given several pieces of information about the mom/dad and baby.  It includes a document with birth mother information such as, name, age, marital status, race, health, birth father information,etc.  It also gives prenatal care information, due date, and reason for the adoption.  

A mom could also have a baby and then choose us after birth.  This leaves us with several unknowns.  We don't have any idea of how long we will wait until a match, or if a match will happen before or after a mom has had her baby.   Perhaps we will wait days, weeks, or months or even a year. 

We are so excited to be approved and waiting!    

Please pray for us, pray that we are content while waiting.  That the Lord would give us, especially me, patience.  I want to be a momma so bad and to be honest waiting is becoming a little hard for me.  It feels so close, and so far away at the same time.  Pray that we have courage, faith, hope, and trust in God in the face of all this uncertainty.  Pray also for a perfect match.  A match that only the Lord can perfectly design.  Pray for the birth mom as well.   I don't know her but I love her and we pray for her.  Join us in praying for her! 

"I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and I will glorify your name forevermore"- Psalm 86:12 





Saturday, October 19, 2013

How did the garage sale go??

We had our garage sale the last 2 days.  It was simply amazing to count the money earned for the adoption and think that YOU, our friends and family, donated items to us for this cause.  We are forever grateful.  We are so glad so many have chosen to partner with us on our adoption journey.  So far we earned just under 700 dollars!!!!   We are still going to try to sell a few of the bigger items that were donated on our own (Entertainment Center, Bow-flex, Dryer, etc).

Logan and I are truly blessed.  We thank the Lord for You!  We had no expectations for the sale but our hearts are overwhelmed with the kindness that people expressed toward us.  So many women stopped by just to shop at the garage sale because it was an adoption garage sale.  I heard so many familiar stories to ours of woman who have struggled with infertility or have adopted themselves.  We have such a peace about our decision to adopt.  A peace I  know can only come from the Lord.  We cannot wait to have our child in our arms, in the Lord's timing.

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." 

We also had our last visit with our social worker on Monday.  It went very well. She did not have too much more to go over with us but had to make a 3rd visit by law.  She is so sweet!   We love her and I pray that she will continue to be a part of our lives even after the adoption is finalized.  She said that she's already started typing up her end of stuff and within a few weeks she hopes to have us Home Study approved!  :)   As she was walking out she reminded us of important things for us to remember like a mom can back out after she has chosen us.  It was good to be reminded of it.  We also pray that that does not happen, but know it would be what's best for the child if it does.   She also said she wouldn't be surprised if we dont have to wait long.  That statement makes my heart happy and then a little fearful. I know we can do it but its so hard not being able to prepare like i'd like to :)  

Thank you.  We truly mean those two words.  We are so thankful for you!  

Friday, October 11, 2013

Last Social Worker Visit and Garage Sale

On Monday we will have our last Social Worker Visit.  Yes, this was supposed to happen on October 3rd meaning we would be Home Study approved by November 3rd.  Unfortunately our Social Worker was having a medical procedure done and had to cancel and could not make it back out until October 14th.   This was disappointing for Logan and I as we were really looking forward to being Home Study approved by November 3rd.   She promised me she would work hard to try and still have it completed by then but at the latest it looks like the approval would be November 14th.

We will wait, and I will work on being patient as we wait for Home Study approval.  We know the Lord has a perfect timing for all things.  But, we are SO excited and anxious to have a little one in our hands!

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 
Rejoice Always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

We have finished all of our homework!  The later readings were more applicable to adoption of newborns and we feel as if we gained valuable information from them.   :)

This coming Thursday and Friday is our Adoption Garage Sale!
October 17th and 18th 8am-4pm.

All proceeds from the garage sale will be used for adoption costs.
We'd love your help!  As previously stated this is a unique garage sale where we are asking you to donate items for the sale.  Anything that's left over will be donated to goodwill or salvation army.  If you have items you'd like to bring over for the sale please contact Logan or I.

If you don't have any items perhaps you'd like to come and buy some of these treasures! :)

We thank the Lord for the many people who are praying for us, our future child and the birth mother.
Ephesians 5:20-  always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.



Friday, October 4, 2013

We Need Your Help...

We would love to have your help.  I'm sure many of you are aware of the fact that adoption is not cheap :)  We have confidence that the Lord will provide for us!

Our packet of information from our social worker and agency includes ideas to raise money.  One idea Logan and I really liked was to have an Adoption Garage Sale.  This garage sale is unique in the fact that we are asking YOU to bring items to our garage sale.  I'm sure many of you have bags of clothes waiting to go to Goodwill, or something in your house you'd love to just get rid of.  We would love you to bring them to our house and then we will try to sell them in our garage sale.   If it doesn't go, we will take them to Goodwill, or have Salvation Army pick them up.  : )

I assure you that all money raised from the sale will go directly toward our adoption.  We'd love to have so much stuff we don't even know where to begin to organize it for the sale : )

I know that Fall is not ideal garage sale time but, hey, the way I look at it is less competition.

Can you help??

You can!  Here are the details!

Garage Sale - October 17th & 18th.

Drop items off anytime between now and October 16th. I work from home Monday-Thursday and most evenings are open!   You can contact Logan or I for more information.

Thank you for reading this and considering helping us!

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Social Worker Visit 1 & 2

Visit One 9/9 (Logan's Birthday)

On Sunday 9/8 during the Opening Game of the Chicago Bears (Thats a big deal in our house), I had noticed our carpet was wet downstairs.  Unfortunately, the wet carpet only continued to get worse and after a while I checked our utility closet in the basement.  Yup, flooded with water.  I frantically called a sweet man from our church and left him a message, praying he would make it out in the morning.  He did...and it was a broken Water Heater :(   He worked so diligently to make sure the new water heater was installed before the social worker got here.  He actually was loading tools back up in his truck when the social worker arrived.  Phew!  We are SO Very Thankful he was able to provide for our need in such a quick manner.

I spent the whole day cleaning, organizing, and making sure all household chemicals were put up high (per our required sheet).  Our house looked amazing. . . I thought the social worker was going to go through our house and do a pre safety audit as she had mentioned to me on the phone.  Unfortunately, she simply just talked with us at the kitchen table and said she'd do that on our next visit.  All that cleaning for nothing!

Our social worker is sweet. She came in so relaxed and really made me 'feel at home' in my own home. :)   I really like her and I know that she will be such an awesome part of this journey. She will be with us until our adoption is finalized. 6 months after placement.  She didn't have too many questions to ask.  She talked to us about our motivation to adopt and how our families felt about our decision.  She stayed a little over two hours and then left.

Sometimes we wake up in the morning and the day just doesn't go as planned.  And well, thats okay.  I remind myself often my happiness lies in the Lord and He is Always with us!

Visit Two 9/26

I made sure our house was spotless again and even managed to go for a walk in the afternoon with a friend and her two sweet little ones. I wasn't nearly as nervous for this visit.  She interviewed each of us one on one.  She simply went through the 13 page questionnaire we had previously filled out and asked us questions about things she felt we really didn't answer well enough.  Lets say I answered the questions and Logan, well he wrote a paper for each question.  She joked with me and said she was gonna have the psychologist look at his because he wrote so much! :)   We had a lot of fun with her on Thursday.  She spent about an hour with me and maybe 25 minutes interviewing Logan.  Since he wrote so much she didn't have much to ask him.  She has a huge document that she needs to write up about us (thats whats called the home study) and she uses our questionnaires to type up her paper.

She walked through our home.  She really didn't look at anything, she didn't open my closets and see how organized they were like I thought she would. She simple walked through it, and then flushed the toilets and turned faucets on...kind of funny. She said its to make sure we have running water.

Homestudy approved by November 3rd is the goal.  She has 30 days from her last visit to complete the home study.  Wow!  It seems to have gone so fast!  Once we are approved we are simply waiting for our child.  How awesome and exciting is that!!

We are giving God the glory for how smooth the process has gone.  We will continue to praise Him and make him a complete part of this process.

So Much Work...

Who knew that there was so much work to do when adopting!  I think they try to teach us a lesson in patience before we actually have a child.


Some people would say that we are now "Paper Pregnant".   Meaning we have entered into the mounds of paperwork, that at times seem never ending.  We know that it will TOTALLY be worth all this work when we are holding a precious little baby in our arms.

So far we've done the following...

Filled out an application.  Just a few pages to fill out, this packet was my favorite :)

Signed Contract with agency and filled out Homestudy packet 1.  Only 17 pages to fill out. Submitted first payment to agency. This made the adoption feel more real.

Filled out Homestudy Packet 2.  34 pages of fun!

Homestudy Packet 3 ... Here is where the real fun begins.

  • 53 pages of more fun! We have all our paper work done! Just waiting for the social workers papers to be sent in. 
  • Assigned a Social Worker!!!
    • Included in packet was a 13 page questioner that both of us had to fill out individually
    • The questions were interesting!  Believe me when I say they want to know EVERYTHING about you.  
  • Fire Inspection of our home.  Had to buy a fire extinguisher.  :/   Also had to make a fire escape plan, primary and alternate routes, with tornado route marked for each level of our home.  This lovely 3 page escape plan gets to stay on our fridge until the adoption is finalized.  Maybe I need to get it laminated?!?  Xenia Fire Department drove the fire truck to my house and inspected the home and the escape plans.  Hum...Wonder what our neighbors were thinking when they saw that?!  And just for some extra excitement one of our smoke alarms started  beeping with low battery as they were in the house.... SERIOUSLY!   
  • Made an emergency list that needs to stay on my fridge too. This had to include lots of numbers.   Quite honestly it isn't a bad thing to have. 
  • FBI/BCI Finger Printing.
  • Social Worker Visit 1 & 2 are complete.  One more to go, next Thursday 10/3.  She said we would be home study approved by November 3rd.  I'll post more soon on how the social worker visits have gone.  

Thank you so much for following our journey and for praying with and for us! 

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Our Story...

We are thrilled to say we are adopting!  We are excited beyond words and to be a honest a little nervous.

Logan and I each knew that we wanted to adopt even before we met.  We both were drawn to the ministry of adoption whereby you are able to provide a home and a loving family for children who otherwise would not be afforded the same opportunities.  We had originally decided we would wait to adopt until we were more financially stable. At what point we actually thought we'd have the money to adopt is beyond me : ).  We began to try starting our family naturally about a year and a half ago.  Despite doctors finding nothing wrong with us, we have not been able to successfully get pregnant.  After much prayer and seeking God's will for us, we felt the Lord was leading us to adopt now.

The journey that led us here has not been an easy one.  It's included lots of heartache, medicine, doctors appointments, and well i'm married to a Riber so a little laughter.  When we seek the Lord He directs our paths.  We are so thrilled He has led us down this path.  It is God's example that we hope to follow as we embark on our own adoption journey.  We will choose to love our child unconditionally and to always put our child's needs ahead of our own needs.  We will shower them with love and mercy even when they don't deserve it.  We will give our child opportunities and a life that they would not have been able to have without us. Just as Christ has done all these for US.

This blog will be used to keep friends and family up to date on our adoption process. We are in the newborn domestic adoption program at Building Block Adoption Agency (www.bbas.org).  We should be Home Study(more info on this process) approved and waiting for our match by the beginning of November.  Once we get to the matching process we could have a child placed within a month to possibly more than a year.

Please pray with us for our child.  Pray for the birthmother and the matching process.  Nothing would make us happier than to know a birthmother came to know the Lord through meeting us and giving us the privilege to raise her child.  And Pray for Logan and I, that we may be parents who are honoring to the Lord.